A Pandemic of Grief
Just when you think things in the news can’t get any worse, they do. 2020 for most people, was a year of loss. Families lost jobs, health, freedom, normal school, rights, friendships, travel, weddings, loved ones, holiday gatherings, social interaction, and the list can go on. Even if the benefit was getting more family time and clarity of some priorities, there was and is still widespread loss and grief. Sometimes acknowledging the loss isn’t encouraged in faith communities because we need to stay positive and grateful, which is important, but simple acknowledgment of the changes we have experienced can also bring more healing and greater long-term gratitude.
Today, God brought to my mind the relevance of the clinical “Stages of Grief” as a tool for people to acknowledge losses and move towards health and healing. Where do you fit in these five stages? Each stage can last days or weeks, depending on how you are able to process your emotions and the severity of the loss. There is value in recognizing you have experienced some degree of loss in 2020 . To move towards health in 2021, we should acknowledge the pain and loss, and work towards acceptance. The more we can work through our own grief and loss, the more equipped we are to help others process and share love with them.
For me, I have lost some relational connections that aren’t the same on zoom. I have lost ground in my missions goals of planting churches in Asia and moving forward in international outreaches. I have lost clarity in vision at work, having to reset goals and objectives. I miss the sight of peoples’ full faces & seeing their expressions. I miss seeing our church sanctuary more full and have lost connection with several families I no longer see. I lost the ability to volunteer at my kids’ school, and thus lost connection to their teachers & the activity there. Our kids lost sports opportunities & recitals were canceled. Barbecues and summer new-student picnics were canceled. I have lost the enjoyment of attending dance and theater performances. I liken it to when I was pregnant nine years ago; I was told not to drink coffee or alcohol, which made me want it even more! That’s what I feel like with the decrease of traveling & the shut downs; it has made me want those things even more. This last fall, I have also noticed more of a loss of cultural peace with the political upheaval, polarization of opinions and parties, and a cultural stress that has developed from racial riots , politics, and general insecurity and instability. I see this nationally and internationally in other countries who are experiencing wide-spread economic and cultural crisis.
If we looked at these crises through the lens of grief, we would find ourselves in one of the five stages:
Shock and Denial
Pain and guilt
Anger and Bargaining
Depression and Loneliness
Acceptance
My faith has helped me get through to the fifth stage for many of my losses, knowing that my heavenly Father is in control of all things, even when it seems chaotic. He is allowing us to go through loss so that He may show us His love and care in the pain when we turn to Him. His face lights up when we come to Him. He desires all people to trust in Him alone. In this trust and steadfast love, we can find peace and acceptance in the loss.
”And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:7)
May the Prince of Peace guard your hearts and minds in Christ, and may you move toward greater health and healing this year as we embark upon 2021.
* Photo credit: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mq00IqO7Lvs